Spiritual Mentors… Spiritual Fathers/Mothers… Gurus… Saints… Perfect People?

Update, 9-7: Daphne at Joyful Days has just reviewed Original Faith. I plan to use an aspect of her review as a way to lead into the topic of my next post. Thanks, Daphne!

Influences vs. Mentors

People have a wide variety of experiences when it comes to spiritual mentors and influences. Although I had one significant encounter with someone who was a spiritual mentor to many people, it was a brief encounter on a three day retreat. The relationship didn’t extend so far as true mentorship.

I did have one other relevant experience: when I was in a long period of despair in my teens into my early twenties, I often spoke about spiritual concerns with an uncle who was intelligent and well informed about science as well as religion. It was encouraging to me that he wasn’t hopeless about life. While this encouragement didn’t go so far as to give me vicarious faith through him – faith that he had the answers I was looking for – it did let me see that a positive view of life wasn’t just for people who were naïve or kidding themselves. But those persons with by far the biggest spiritual influence on me exerted it much more indirectly than directly: my mother and father.

Social Settings and Seeming Perfection

From what I’ve seen of others and know about myself, I think it’s a mistake to idolize anyone – to imagine that even those we most look up to don’t sometimes feel, think and act from out of egoism. I doubt the ego dies until we do.

I suspect that one reason we’re tempted to idolize renowned spiritual figures is simply that we don’t know them up close and personal enough. I imagine that being a celebrated spiritual figure would be enough to assure that in public you’d act that way with great consistency. That’s a lot of social pressure…

An analogy comes to mind. Although I tend to be a calm person and someone who isn’t moody – who doesn’t have “bad days” that impact those around me – my appearance in this regard was especially consistent at work because of my position as school counselor. Even when I was having some hugely bad days and years as I entered into the world of rare disease and declining health, few people at work knew about them. Those who were aware only knew because I confided in them, but even here, I didn’t confide in an agitated manner or frequently. No one knew how often I was confronting deeply troubling turns of events or how steadily and seriously my quality of life was eroding.

But an emotionally volatile counselor who looked like he was losing it – that wouldn’t have worked out too well! My social context required me to project calm and collectedness more perfectly and consistently than I experienced it.

What’s your view/experience of spiritual influences and mentors? Do you see mentors as perfect? Nearly so? Or as just having hiked further on up the road?